“Meditating” and “motherhood” seem completely at odds to me these days, a total oxymoron. I can’t remember the last time I communed with my own heart upon my bed and was still (Psalm 4:4). Unless you count the time I spend at night before I go to bed, thinking through all I didn’t get done and all I have to do tomorrow. But it’s not often that I stop all the busy-ness of my mind and think about nothing but God.
I can’t remember half of what I need to remember as it is, with my mind going 90 miles a minute. “Kids need to take their vitamins. Are there diapers in the diaper bag? Has everyone gone potty yet? Need to get meat out for supper tonight. Where are your sister’s shoes, her monkey, her socks? Laundry—need to do the kids laundry TODAY! Do we have any towels left? ‘Son, do not sit on your sister!'” Where does God fit into all of that? And yet, He’s supposed to fit. In fact, for me to thrive, for my exploits of the day to be successful, He MUST be there.
I’m continually reminded by others that I ought to take time out “for me.” But the truth is, the one I really need to take time out for is God. So, when does this happen? Try day and night, first of all, just like the psalmist recommends. Rather than ending the day with a list of failures and to-dos and beginning the next day where I left off the night before, I ought to be still—and reflect—on the God who got me through the day—on the God who will get me through tomorrow—on the God who gave me my blessings and my responsibilities—on God. Then, once I’m still and calm and reflective, I can think about my ways (Psalm 119:57), where I’ve fallen short of God’s will instead of my ideals. With repentant heart, I can take the time to make those ways right again and to readjust my path when I get distracted from my goal (which is God). Then, I can start the next day—still, meditative, communing with God once again—by dedicating my day, my tasks, my strength (or lack thereof) to Him who is my strength. I can delight in His presence and companionship.
But then, do I stop there? After “Amen” has been said, do I rush to my list of to-dos? Sure, I can rush to my tasks, but not without God today. Today, I pause throughout and acknowledge His grace, strength, and wisdom. I even have the children pause with me occasionally, to pray for someone that we think of or to simply praise God for a beautiful day to play outside. The difference is, with my mind on God instead of on my tasks, I am spirit-controlled rather than task-dominated. And I’m finding delight in the One who is Delight, who is the I Am of all I need. With my roots in His calm streams, I am like a tree—sturdy and stable—providing what I can for those the Lord has placed beneath my branches.
This post has been edited and republished from my former blog Homekeepers. Over the next several months, I will be merging my two blogs into this one location.